ORTHO HUMOUR – 1
- THE CLASSIC
Q: What do you call two orthopaedic surgeons looking at an ECG?
A: A double blind study.
- The definition of shifting dullness – an orthopaedic ward round.
- Q: Why do anaesthetists take an instant dislike to orthopaedic surgeons?
A: Because it saves time
- Q: How do you get an Orthopaedic Surgeon to refer you to someone else?
A: Ask him the time
- Q: Why do orthopaedic surgeons make great lovers?
A: Because when they tell the theatre nurse something will take half an hour in reality it will take three hours.
- An orthopaedic surgeon giving evidence told the court he was the best surgeon in the world, the judge objected to such arrogance. The orthopaedic surgeon pointed out he was under oath and had to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
- Q: What is the difference between God and an Orthopaedic surgeon?
A: God does not think he is an Orthopaedic surgeon.
ORTHO HUMOUR – 2
Things Orthopaedic Surgeons Sometimes Say:
- One way to make sure a humerus doesn’t heal is to operate on it
- If you’ve half a mind to do orthopaedics, you’re over-qualified.
- The modern holistic approach to orthopaedics…..you don’t JUST treat the fracture, you treat the whole bone!
- It’s only a five-minute operation sister
- It’s much more urgent than any possible general surgical case!
ORTHO HUMOUR – 3
Q: Where do you learn about bones?
A: Osteoclasst.
Q: What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
A: An osteoblast.
Q: Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
A: He wants tibia honest.
Q: Why did the skeleton start a fight?
A: He had a bone to pick.
Q: What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
A: The hip.
Q: What do you call a funny bone?
A: A humerus.
Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
A: He was bone tired.
Q: What is a skeleton’s favourite plant?
A: A bone-zai tree.
Q: Why are skeletons such bad liars?
A: Everyone can see right through them.
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
ORTHO HUMOUR – 4
Munnabhai MS ORTH
Q: What does he call fracture patella?
A: FATELLA PATELLA
Q: What does he call dislocation of patella?
A: HATELLA PATELLA